When I found dad, he looked sound asleep, lying on his right, hands under his head, legs bent, looking very peaceful, finally, out of his misery. Its painful, each time i think of all the circumstances that led to his eventual demise.
Dad's dying position however, is the 'endorsed' buddhist sleeping position, buddha lay on the same side when he entered nirvana, yet another reminder for me to be diligent?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Pan-Da Lama
Uncle Yang introduced a tibetan monk, Pan-da lama to my sis and me on last wed. I invited him to go to dad's house on sunday to perform a deliverance rite, we scheduled the time meet at 9am as he said that rites should be performed in the morning as the morning is Buddha's time. I feel at ease with the Lama as i can see that he is a simple person. When we say that someone is simple, we sometimes think that that means the person is not as intelligent, or even dumb, and easily deceivable.
I believe that the utmost sophistication and wisdom comes from the most simplest person. Being shrewed, clever, or even cunning can sometimes be the worst thing that could happen to a person. It happened to me at least. I thought i was being clever when i tried all means and ways to shun responsibilities of dad, there are many extreme and evil things i did to him, i managed to get away each time because he has never complaint, aways being patient on me. I tried to tell myself that I have done enough, and used all my intelligence to take advantage of him.
To ensure that there is no cock up, i even went to my dad's house twice on sat (once at noon and no ones' home, once at 11pm) to make sure we can enter the place.
On Sunday, i called Pan-da lama at 8:30am met him up as incidentally, he stays in woodlands at a devotee's place, (it must have been Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva's workings?), the Lama requested for some rice and water from the tenant.
I had to clean up the room where my dad passed away so that the Lama can do his chanting, i believe we spent close to an hour for the ritual. With my limited sanskrit I believe he started off with the great compassion mantra (大悲咒）and proceed to other mantras including Om mani padme hum and Namo Amitabha.
End of the ritual, I used the Standard Chinese Mahayana school ritual to thank Pan-da lama and gave donations on behalf of dad for the building of the monastery in Nepal. He gave me 2 tibetan artefact's for protection.
愿以此功德回向极乐国民徐玉和
I believe that the utmost sophistication and wisdom comes from the most simplest person. Being shrewed, clever, or even cunning can sometimes be the worst thing that could happen to a person. It happened to me at least. I thought i was being clever when i tried all means and ways to shun responsibilities of dad, there are many extreme and evil things i did to him, i managed to get away each time because he has never complaint, aways being patient on me. I tried to tell myself that I have done enough, and used all my intelligence to take advantage of him.
To ensure that there is no cock up, i even went to my dad's house twice on sat (once at noon and no ones' home, once at 11pm) to make sure we can enter the place.
On Sunday, i called Pan-da lama at 8:30am met him up as incidentally, he stays in woodlands at a devotee's place, (it must have been Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva's workings?), the Lama requested for some rice and water from the tenant.
I had to clean up the room where my dad passed away so that the Lama can do his chanting, i believe we spent close to an hour for the ritual. With my limited sanskrit I believe he started off with the great compassion mantra (大悲咒）and proceed to other mantras including Om mani padme hum and Namo Amitabha.
End of the ritual, I used the Standard Chinese Mahayana school ritual to thank Pan-da lama and gave donations on behalf of dad for the building of the monastery in Nepal. He gave me 2 tibetan artefact's for protection.
愿以此功德回向极乐国民徐玉和
Friday, September 17, 2010
Mindfulness
Today, while surfing through facebook, i came across this video of a lecture by an american monk Paul Muenzen about the diamond sutra. He said that the first chapter of the diamond sutra is the most important chapter of the entire sutra.
Now, for one who is familar with the buddha sutras, he/she would know that the first chapter is usually an introductory chapter that always starts with 'Thus I have heard...' and talks about buddha going about his daily chores before sitting down for Q&A. this is the first chapter of the diamond sutra:
"Thus have I heard. Upon a time Buddha sojourned in Anathapindika's Park by Shravasti with a great company of bhikshus, even twelve hundred and fifty. One day, at the time for breaking fast, the World-honored One enrobed, and carrying His bowl made His way into the great city of Shravasti to beg for His food. In the midst of the city He begged from door to door according to rule. This done, He returned to His retreat and took His meal. When He had finished He put away His robe and begging bowl, washed His feet, arranged His seat, and sat down. "
Its a simple chapter that gives the setting of the situation whereupon buddha gave his sermons and lectures. This, according to Paul, a Zen monk is the most important chapter.
The diamond sutra is the summary of the Maha Prajnaparamita sutras (the Heart Sutra is a summary of the diamon sutra, some says). It talks about emptiness. The buddhist concept of emptiness is very different from the concept we know. It is not the absence of something, rather it is the inter-dependency of phenomenon and nounmenon, without which reality does not arise. this is called 缘起 in chinese and translated as dependent arising, the core principle in Mahayana buddhism. Buddha tells us that nothing exists independently, and nothing arise from nothing. Since that is the case, nothing is permanent but is always in a flux of change. Emptiness is a name given to this characteristic of reality as:
"it is not there before, it is not there after, so where is it?"
In this first chapter, it tells us how Buddha practises emptiness, which is through mindfulness - i call it psychological or spiritual discipline. By understanding emptiness, buddha is thus void of a 'me' ego, without the 'me' ego, he does not get attached to the need for nice food, but takes any food offered. Being the world honoured one, he begs for food so that sentient beings can accumulate good karma by giving, without ego, he is not ashame to beg for food - this is emptiness.
Without a 'me' ego, he is discipline in his actions, his time table is strictly adhered to as he does not get deviated by any thoughts - or 'mind monkey' by going around thinking 'hmm...i'm not hungry, i'll eat later' or thinking 'maybe i'll wear my new rode to beg' or thinking 'I will go to this house for food as they serve good food'. Its simple, time to beg, beg. Time to eat, eat. Time to sit down to give lecture, lecture. Not swaying a bit, not affected by anything, just go with cause and effect.
Emptiness, so profound in practice, yet an extremly simple concept achievable by mindfulness.
URL of Paul's lecture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_f9864bdbM&feature=related
Now, for one who is familar with the buddha sutras, he/she would know that the first chapter is usually an introductory chapter that always starts with 'Thus I have heard...' and talks about buddha going about his daily chores before sitting down for Q&A. this is the first chapter of the diamond sutra:
"Thus have I heard. Upon a time Buddha sojourned in Anathapindika's Park by Shravasti with a great company of bhikshus, even twelve hundred and fifty. One day, at the time for breaking fast, the World-honored One enrobed, and carrying His bowl made His way into the great city of Shravasti to beg for His food. In the midst of the city He begged from door to door according to rule. This done, He returned to His retreat and took His meal. When He had finished He put away His robe and begging bowl, washed His feet, arranged His seat, and sat down. "
Its a simple chapter that gives the setting of the situation whereupon buddha gave his sermons and lectures. This, according to Paul, a Zen monk is the most important chapter.
The diamond sutra is the summary of the Maha Prajnaparamita sutras (the Heart Sutra is a summary of the diamon sutra, some says). It talks about emptiness. The buddhist concept of emptiness is very different from the concept we know. It is not the absence of something, rather it is the inter-dependency of phenomenon and nounmenon, without which reality does not arise. this is called 缘起 in chinese and translated as dependent arising, the core principle in Mahayana buddhism. Buddha tells us that nothing exists independently, and nothing arise from nothing. Since that is the case, nothing is permanent but is always in a flux of change. Emptiness is a name given to this characteristic of reality as:
"it is not there before, it is not there after, so where is it?"
In this first chapter, it tells us how Buddha practises emptiness, which is through mindfulness - i call it psychological or spiritual discipline. By understanding emptiness, buddha is thus void of a 'me' ego, without the 'me' ego, he does not get attached to the need for nice food, but takes any food offered. Being the world honoured one, he begs for food so that sentient beings can accumulate good karma by giving, without ego, he is not ashame to beg for food - this is emptiness.
Without a 'me' ego, he is discipline in his actions, his time table is strictly adhered to as he does not get deviated by any thoughts - or 'mind monkey' by going around thinking 'hmm...i'm not hungry, i'll eat later' or thinking 'maybe i'll wear my new rode to beg' or thinking 'I will go to this house for food as they serve good food'. Its simple, time to beg, beg. Time to eat, eat. Time to sit down to give lecture, lecture. Not swaying a bit, not affected by anything, just go with cause and effect.
Emptiness, so profound in practice, yet an extremly simple concept achievable by mindfulness.
URL of Paul's lecture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_f9864bdbM&feature=related
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
发心
发心学佛者，佛教归类为三种：
下品 - 发求增上生心者：希望来生果报比今生好。
中品 - 发出离心者：希望永离三界六道，得解脱，涅磐乐，不再回来受苦。
上品 - 发大菩提心者：不愿自得解脱，而发慈悲心，希望与众生同登彼岸。
我呢？ 从小就由于父亲的影响，认为自己是华人，自豪感让我对基督，天主教没有信奉的兴趣认为这些是红毛人的宗教。小时，妈送我到教堂的sunday school 可是当老师问我要不要成为基督教徒时，我毫不犹豫的拒绝了。
一直对佛教就心生欢喜，不过却若继若离，特别是心里知道对老爸不孝，还萌生了希望把责任推拖的心态，所以就不敢太深入，深怕要对老爸恨心时，由于宗教的约束而下不了手。我竟然把聪明用在这上面了，丑陋，自私，现实的心态表露无遗。
知道父亲在最后的日子里，经由朋友的善导，而念阿弥陀佛，是对生活的不公的呐喊，是对不孝子的乞求，懊悔啊！千辈子的刻在我的阿赖耶识里，求出无期。
我就是因为要对父亲有个交代，对他的子孙有个交代，希望能维持精进心，希望这份心永不退转。
下品 - 发求增上生心者：希望来生果报比今生好。
中品 - 发出离心者：希望永离三界六道，得解脱，涅磐乐，不再回来受苦。
上品 - 发大菩提心者：不愿自得解脱，而发慈悲心，希望与众生同登彼岸。
我呢？ 从小就由于父亲的影响，认为自己是华人，自豪感让我对基督，天主教没有信奉的兴趣认为这些是红毛人的宗教。小时，妈送我到教堂的sunday school 可是当老师问我要不要成为基督教徒时，我毫不犹豫的拒绝了。
一直对佛教就心生欢喜，不过却若继若离，特别是心里知道对老爸不孝，还萌生了希望把责任推拖的心态，所以就不敢太深入，深怕要对老爸恨心时，由于宗教的约束而下不了手。我竟然把聪明用在这上面了，丑陋，自私，现实的心态表露无遗。
知道父亲在最后的日子里，经由朋友的善导，而念阿弥陀佛，是对生活的不公的呐喊，是对不孝子的乞求，懊悔啊！千辈子的刻在我的阿赖耶识里，求出无期。
我就是因为要对父亲有个交代，对他的子孙有个交代，希望能维持精进心，希望这份心永不退转。
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Dream of Dad part 12
I dreamt about dad again yesterday. In the dream he has supposedly past away, but came back to life and was sleeping with beddings and everything in the toilet. I prepared the room for him and wanted to move him over, I had so much in plan for him in the dream I wanted to do a lot of things for him in the dream.
I know it is once again a manifestation of my guilt for abandoning him, for ignoring him. I had so many chances to do so much for him but i blew them all. Now everytime I am with my family, playing with the kids, going somewhere for leisure, i can't help but think about him and wishing so badly that he is here.
I had chances to prove my worth, to practice my benevolence, compassion, but now that chance has passed.
I know it is once again a manifestation of my guilt for abandoning him, for ignoring him. I had so many chances to do so much for him but i blew them all. Now everytime I am with my family, playing with the kids, going somewhere for leisure, i can't help but think about him and wishing so badly that he is here.
I had chances to prove my worth, to practice my benevolence, compassion, but now that chance has passed.
Daughter's diligence
I saw my daughter writing on something tonight, I went over and saw that she is actually copying the five precepts from a comic book called "Inspiration from Buddha" to her little note book. They say that parents set examples for their children, this reminds me to be more careful in what i do around my children.
During our Krabi trip over the last weekend, we went on a 4 island trip that involves taking a local bump boat to the islands, my daughter is visibly scared as the weather was getting bad and the sea getting rough. Later on i realised that she has calmed down, and noticed that her lips were , she was chanting "Namo Amitabha" during the ride.
When we went for shoping, she insisted in buying a buddha statue and in the end my wife bought her a small Maitreya bodhisattva statue.
When i told someone that buddha lived 2500 years ago recently, she can even correct me and said that it was 2600 years ago. She even explained to me how according to the buddhist legends, humans came about on this earth.
I don't know what future lies for her but will try my best to show her the correct path, whether she would eventually become a buddhist or not would depend on her affiliations with buddhism.
During our Krabi trip over the last weekend, we went on a 4 island trip that involves taking a local bump boat to the islands, my daughter is visibly scared as the weather was getting bad and the sea getting rough. Later on i realised that she has calmed down, and noticed that her lips were , she was chanting "Namo Amitabha" during the ride.
When we went for shoping, she insisted in buying a buddha statue and in the end my wife bought her a small Maitreya bodhisattva statue.
When i told someone that buddha lived 2500 years ago recently, she can even correct me and said that it was 2600 years ago. She even explained to me how according to the buddhist legends, humans came about on this earth.
I don't know what future lies for her but will try my best to show her the correct path, whether she would eventually become a buddhist or not would depend on her affiliations with buddhism.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Paradox
To spike christians, a friend of mine would ask this question:"Since God is omnipotent, can he create a rock so heavy that he cannot lift?"
This is a question that is supposed to embarrass religions that believe in an omnipotent creator.
I recently came across similar question posted by someone on buddhism-online, the chinese Buddhism website, this time the question is directed at Buddha. He asks:"Since Buddha is omnipotent, can he create a rock so heavy that he cannot lift?"
I laughed when i saw this question, becuase obviously the person who asked this question has no idea who the buddha is, and what buddha or buddhism claimed that buddha can do.
The response to this question by buddhism-online is the best i have ever seen, this response is obviously written by someone highly enlightened, as it not only explain that Buddha is, and has never claimed to be omnipotent, the writer, went on, out of compassion to defend christianity and showed that the question is absolutely absurd.
To see the response, this is the URL: http://ask.fjnet.com/daoshi/wrfs/201006/t20100622_158768.htm
This is a question that is supposed to embarrass religions that believe in an omnipotent creator.
I recently came across similar question posted by someone on buddhism-online, the chinese Buddhism website, this time the question is directed at Buddha. He asks:"Since Buddha is omnipotent, can he create a rock so heavy that he cannot lift?"
I laughed when i saw this question, becuase obviously the person who asked this question has no idea who the buddha is, and what buddha or buddhism claimed that buddha can do.
The response to this question by buddhism-online is the best i have ever seen, this response is obviously written by someone highly enlightened, as it not only explain that Buddha is, and has never claimed to be omnipotent, the writer, went on, out of compassion to defend christianity and showed that the question is absolutely absurd.
To see the response, this is the URL: http://ask.fjnet.com/daoshi/wrfs/201006/t20100622_158768.htm
悲
悲，莫过于树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在
曾经，认为父亲是累赘，当得知父亲得的是肾病需要洗肾时，想的不是要好好照顾他，反而是怪他为什么要那么麻烦，心中许多恶毒的想法是说不尽的。为什么我每次看到他时没有办法对他有怜悯？他看我的最后一眼，失望，悲伤，还有愤怒，我当时不当一回事，而现在永远忘不了。
曾经，认为父亲是累赘，当得知父亲得的是肾病需要洗肾时，想的不是要好好照顾他，反而是怪他为什么要那么麻烦，心中许多恶毒的想法是说不尽的。为什么我每次看到他时没有办法对他有怜悯？他看我的最后一眼，失望，悲伤，还有愤怒，我当时不当一回事，而现在永远忘不了。
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
大悲观世音
曾经和朋友说起，父亲是观世音菩萨的化生，朋友一定以为我走火入魔了。观世音菩萨现大悲神力，化生不同的形象，来普渡众生，同样的，众生若能感化其他众生，使他们有所觉悟，痛彻，便是以观世音菩萨名义渡化众生。妙法莲华经观世音菩萨普门品第二十五说道：
“。。。若有国土众生应以佛身得度者。观世音菩萨。即现佛身而为说法。应以辟支佛身得度者。即现辟支佛身而为说法。应以声闻身得度者。即现声闻身而为说法。应以梵王身得度者。即现梵王身而为说法。应以帝释身得度者。即现帝释身而为说法。应以自在天身得度者。即现自在天身而为说法。应以大自在天身得度者。即现大自在天身而为说法。应以天大将军身得度者。即现天大将军身而为说法。应以毘沙门身得度者。即现毘沙门身而为说法。应以小王身得度者。即现小王身而为说法。应以长者身得度者。即现长者身而为说法。应以居士身得度者。即现居士身而为说法。应以宰官身得度者。即现宰官身而为说法。应以婆罗门身得度者。即现婆罗门身而为说法。应以比丘、比丘尼、优婆塞、优婆夷身得度者。即现比丘、比丘尼、优婆塞、优婆夷身而为说法。应以长者、居士、宰官、婆罗门、妇女身得度者。即现妇女身而为说法。应以童男、童女身得度者。即现童男、童女身而为说法。应以天龙、夜叉、乾闼婆、阿修罗、迦楼罗、紧那罗、摩睺罗伽、人、非人等身得度者。即皆现之而为说法。应以执金刚神得度者。即现执金刚神而为说法。。。”
佛说八大人觉经里亦提到：
。。。第八觉知：生死炽然，苦恼无量；发大乘心，普济一切，愿代众生，受无量苦，令诸众生，毕竟大乐。
“愿代众生，受无量苦”父亲受无量苦，来渡化我们，既菩萨行。
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
“。。。若有国土众生应以佛身得度者。观世音菩萨。即现佛身而为说法。应以辟支佛身得度者。即现辟支佛身而为说法。应以声闻身得度者。即现声闻身而为说法。应以梵王身得度者。即现梵王身而为说法。应以帝释身得度者。即现帝释身而为说法。应以自在天身得度者。即现自在天身而为说法。应以大自在天身得度者。即现大自在天身而为说法。应以天大将军身得度者。即现天大将军身而为说法。应以毘沙门身得度者。即现毘沙门身而为说法。应以小王身得度者。即现小王身而为说法。应以长者身得度者。即现长者身而为说法。应以居士身得度者。即现居士身而为说法。应以宰官身得度者。即现宰官身而为说法。应以婆罗门身得度者。即现婆罗门身而为说法。应以比丘、比丘尼、优婆塞、优婆夷身得度者。即现比丘、比丘尼、优婆塞、优婆夷身而为说法。应以长者、居士、宰官、婆罗门、妇女身得度者。即现妇女身而为说法。应以童男、童女身得度者。即现童男、童女身而为说法。应以天龙、夜叉、乾闼婆、阿修罗、迦楼罗、紧那罗、摩睺罗伽、人、非人等身得度者。即皆现之而为说法。应以执金刚神得度者。即现执金刚神而为说法。。。”
佛说八大人觉经里亦提到：
。。。第八觉知：生死炽然，苦恼无量；发大乘心，普济一切，愿代众生，受无量苦，令诸众生，毕竟大乐。
“愿代众生，受无量苦”父亲受无量苦，来渡化我们，既菩萨行。
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
南无大悲观世音菩萨摩诃萨
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