I dreamt about dad again yesterday. In the dream he has supposedly past away, but came back to life and was sleeping with beddings and everything in the toilet. I prepared the room for him and wanted to move him over, I had so much in plan for him in the dream I wanted to do a lot of things for him in the dream.
I know it is once again a manifestation of my guilt for abandoning him, for ignoring him. I had so many chances to do so much for him but i blew them all. Now everytime I am with my family, playing with the kids, going somewhere for leisure, i can't help but think about him and wishing so badly that he is here.
I had chances to prove my worth, to practice my benevolence, compassion, but now that chance has passed.
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