Dream of dad 15

I dreamt of dad in march, in the dream, I saw him sitting on my kitchen floor, in the dream I dreamt that while his kidney had totally failed and had to be removed, it was ok, he did not have to die, I felt relieved, I cried and kneel in front of him, hugging his legs, seeking his forgiveness for my cruelty, he was very serene, he smiled at me with his usual smile, telling me that it is ok. Why can't this be real, why can't he be alive and reality of his departure be a dream?