Faded memories

I took out the 3 large bags of photo albums that we managed to savage after a poorly coordinated move where my cousin who is a mover, threw almost everything we had in the storeroom causing my mom to be very upset (that is another story).

I casually picked up several of the older albums from the pack and went through them, I came across a family potrait, with my grandma in the middle, back then, dad is a handsome chap, standing with his chest up and proud, perhaps proud that he has made his mark, that he was able to take his mother to the studio for a photo shot. He had his rough time with grandpa and grandma, but being the favourite son of them both, his desire to repay is admirable.

I then saw a potrait of me in the middle, not more then 3 years old, with dad to the left and mom to the right, he was smartly dressed in long trousers, short sleeve shirt with a yellow tie. How could anyone had imagine a 3 year old toddler would one day grow into a monster, with so much evil?

Through the photos, i noticed that most of them were pics of me and sis, or two of us with mom, only occassionally do I come across him being in the picture. his love for us must be so much that he wanted to capture all the joyous moments he had with us. I still have vivid memories of many of these photos. We stopped taking photos especially these few years when he was sick.

We used to be such a happy family - not wealthy, but generally happy. where has that went? This is a great example of the impermanence of life, especially of happiness. Detachment is the only cure. Detachment doesn't mean keeping a distance from your love ones, but means you need to cherish those you love, cherish the good life you have, but understand that everything will one day be gone and letting go when the time comes.

I stopped having dreams about dad ever since the 49th day. does that mean that he is now well into his next journey or life, perhaps in the western paradise?