Dream of dad 13

Dream about dad again the other day. It has been a while since I dreamt about him. In the dream we were at this mountain ridge, he was standing along side a line of strangers, I held his upper arms tight and cried while apologizing repeatedly. When I woke up, I was soak in tears. A colleague of mine asked if I had moved on, I told her I am trying to to avoid concern from her but deep down I know it is not possible to recover fully. Dad's sufferings and my cruelty will always haunt me.