Realization that I would never know what is dad's likes and dislikes, pain, suffering, happiness suddenly dawn on me 10 mins ago. How pitiful, for a son to draw a blank face if anyone asks this question.
He must have faced so much pain and suffering, but no one to help him at all, no one there to listen, to understand and to offer words of comfort.
The last time he was hospitalized in April this year, he complaint that he want to be discharged as soon as possible because of the high fees for dialysis in the hospital. I only told him:"we have no choice". Not a word of comfort, not a display of concern.
I told my sis that she is right that this was dad's karma in full motion. But this gives no excuse that we should treat him this way, my ill-treatment of him is part of his karma during the last days of his life, a hellish 4 years of isolation, torture.
however, being his karma doesn't make my karma any lesser, it only time that i would know when my just retribution is going to come claim its kill.
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