Came to work in the morning, have no mood to do anything, i know i have to continue, i know i have to be strong, but everytime i think about how I treated my dad, and how i could have change things, and how a great chance given to me to atone for my sins has been forsaken by me, i cannot but dwell in self pity.
I could have brought dad over for a weekend stay every weekend, i could have done that when he moved over to the new house, why did i only thought about that when when he is gone? is it selfishness? the fear of trouble? I could have kept him in my house for a month and observe and see if it is suitable, he can help play with my son and daughter, he is going to be an invaluable help to my mom, why didn't i think of that?
the house agent called today and said that he had a quarrel with the HDB officer and the co-broking agent as they had been rushing him to get them the death cert, he told them that it is inappropriate at this time to be asking for such things from the mourning family - even a stranger knows what is right and wrong, where is my sense of justice? for my own dad?
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