First Seven day

Today is the First seven day of the passing on of my dad, according to chinese believe, this is the day that a deceased spirit would come back to the home of his family to visit before moving on to the next realm. Legend has it that you would normally notice small insects in the house on the day and that wold be the spirit of the deceased.

Just after 12 am today, while i was using the computer, I noticed a very small insect crawled pass me. It is not surprising that you would see insects in this part of the world where the climate is equatorial. Strange thing is, tonight this is the only insect i saw. I wish the legend is true, that my dad has came back to visit this unfilial son of his before moving on to a much better place.

I cannot tell enough how remorseful i am towards my late father, I have done him wrong, in his time of need, i was not there, and i am the sole reason why that happened to him, an old, sickly and half blind, deaf man. I am in short simply heartless, i can never atone for my sins, not in a thousand lifetime, I cannot forgive myself for all the cruel things i did to him. My only wish is that he is now in a much better, happier place as i did not provided him with any comfort, or happiness.

retribution might fall on me, i cannot complain, i have brought this upon myself and no one else is to be blamed. I have created this blog - something i would not normally do, in rememberance of my dad, who is a mild, quiet and kind man. The reason i can carry on is to be able to provide for his descendants - my daughter and son, who carries his genes and where he would live on, in the genes that he has provided to them and to me. My only promise to him would be to try my best to provide for these grand-off springs of his and honour him in their deeds.