Everyday,I wake up in the morning with the wishful thinking that my father is still alive..still staying with me...
Everyday,whenever I'm alone I will start thinking about the way I treated him when he is still alive..I did not show him enough care nor concern when he was staying with me,I'm always thinking that he'll take my care and concern for granted. But I have have never thought that actually he just don't know how to express his feelings.

Now I don't even have the chance to say I'm sorry. I didn't even get to say goodbye...the last time I spoke to him was 3rd May a week before he pass away. He called me asking for his passport,I even told him that I will go home and check then I'll call him back. And I didn't even bother to call him back..why have I became so inhumane??? Come to think back,my father actually wanted me to show concern but I just can't be bother.

My heart is aching..the pain is unbearable..I will never forgive myself for what I had did. I will not accept that it's my father's karma to die this way. It's just excuse to make me feel better,I'm guilty of the wrongdoings to my father.